My hair cascaded down my back as I brushed it off my freckled bare shoulder, and I shivered a little bit as the breeze from the cracked open door down the hallway tickled my neck. My feet click, clacked as I strolled around the corner, towards the stair case.And my eyes gleamed as I glanced sideways at my refelction in the trophy case that jutted out from the wall to the left of me. It wasn't necessarily the best day for me, my face wasn't cluttered with eye liner and blush but it wasn't fresh and clean either. And my forehead had a new mosqitoe bite sized, red, and irritated mark, that not even the acne cleanser, commercials, and celebrities swore by could get rid of it. I tried to adjust my loose t-shirt and jeans to fit just right but lost hope after a cute athlete jogged by just as I made a funny face in the dark, foggy reflection. More footsteps pounded from a few feet away and I knew they had to be the feet of a boy who had a sports bag in one hand and large feet that only a Varsity player could posses. But I didn't expect it to be him. Maybe with my luck it would have been Mason or Joey the cute upper classmen that made my heart skip a beat and a breath escape my lips everytime I saw them. But not him. Not the first guy who knew all my secrets. Not the first guy who I fell in love with. Not the first guy who broke my heart. I stood there utterly mortified that I had been thinking about, dreaming about running into him for weeks, and there he was. And so instead of in my dreams, where I happen to see him, no one else in the halls, I'd breath out his name as he turned to grin at me, and I'd tell him my secret, just like I always did, and he'd tell me his for the first time, he'd tell me that he missed me, and that curly, blonde haired, tall, tan, teenage, boy would be mine again. No, instead I literally ran into him. I turned and clumisly dragged my feet away from my refelction and right into him. The moment was there, the moment was now, my sharp elbow bumped his abs as I turned the corner and he stepped back, startled and then stunned to have run into me of all people. The lip gloss on my lips seemed to stick together as I tried to will my mouth to open. But by the time it did, it flooded with air that I desperatly needed after seeing him, and the right now, the right moment, was gone. Because by that time he was gone, my first love, my lost, our first encounter since the end, my first perfect moment, all gone.
First. First step, first word, first food. First dance, first kiss, the winner is always first. The person always moving forward, and rushing through it all. The person with the most desire to get things done and to push forward. Life isn't about doing things first, or experiencing all your firsts right away because you can only have a first love, or a first step into highschool, or a first blog post, once. Once and only once. And when it's over, it's over, and everything you do after that is nothing new.
11:11 a moment everyday that pushes us to think about what we want. To think about the things that we wish we could obtain, or could do, or could be happy with, if only.........if only he liked you, or if only the time was right, or if the only the moment came. The perfect moment. But I'm tired of wishing for that perfect moment, I'm tired of waiting until it's the right time to tell him, or the right time to forgive, or the right time to move on. I wish for right now, I wish to be in this moment and live here forever, because this moment, right now, is the time to speak. The time to forgive. The time to be who you want to be. I wish for right now to never end, because right now is the perfect time, the perfect moment.
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